They say his clothes blend into the background, no matter where he stands. They say a lot of things about the Schwa, but one thing s for sure: no one ever noticed him. Except me. My name is Antsy Bonano, and I was the one who realized the Schwa was functionally invisible and used him to make some big bucks. But I was also the one who caused him more grief than a friend should. So if you all just shut up and listen, I ll tell you everything there is to know about the Schwa, from how he got his name, to what really happened with his mom. I ll spill everything. Unless, of course, the Schwa Effect wipes him out of my brain before I m done ."